Taking out my anger via blog...

Yeah, so, a lot has happened since Saturday. But, now we may be looking for now 2 roommates, which sucks, but whatever. Emily acts like we're the bad guys and she's the fucking victim, but she's not. I was there when Chris said we didn't want alcohol and I was there when she said it was fine. It wasn't the fact that it was alcohol, but the fact that we asked her to tell her friends not to bring any. I'm kind of glad that this has happened, just so I don't have to talk to her anymore. I didn't even really do anything to her and she's acting all ape shit on everyone. When everyone was TRYING to talk to her, I didn't say a word, mostly because I knew I would say something I would regret later. It took a lot in me not to tell her friend to shut the hell up. I seriously think it would have gone a lot better if her friend wasn't there. We tried talking to her calmly, but she wouldn't have it. And she thinks we're immature. She's the one who can't handle anything and when something like this happens, she goes home. I used to care about her feelings and that's another reason why I didn't say anything last night. But, today I'm just very angry and if she reads this, good. I don't care if she feels hurt anymore, because if she doesn't care about me, why should I care about her? But whatever, if she doesn't want our friendship, that's fine. I never considered her to be a friend anyway. I just can't wait until next year when it's just me, Kara, Garrick and Chris.

But for now, we just have to deal with it and suck it up, like most 20-year-olds should. Well, that's about all for now. Who knows what will happen next?


"You are a mean girl! You're a BITCH!"
-Janis Ian

(I just thought I would throw that in there, since that's what I'm kind of thinking right now....)

I also want to say that I think Chris, Garrick, and Kara are the greatest friends that anyone could ever ask for and I feel sorry for anyone who thinks otherwise. I'm glad that they are all in my life.

Loves around...

Something wicked this way comes...

Tonight is our Halloween party...finally! I can't wait, it's going to be so much fun! I finally got paid though! Yay! That money is going to go away fast with rent and food, but at least I have more money than I did. Now I have to wait yet ANOTHER month to get paid again. Oh well, it's better than nothing. I finished my take home test for Normal Speech and Language Development, so now I don't have any more school work for the rest of the weekend. Yay!

Last night Chris and I took a King Soopers run in our pajamas to go get stuff to make smoothies. I made a strawberry-banana one, and it was pretty good. I got through most of it, but then couldn't finish it. And this morning at like 9:30 the damn Homecoming parade had to choose 20th Street to march down. I was awaken by sirens and the drumline. Nice. I feel sorry for any of those people in the apartments by Arapahoe High School when I was in marching band. It sucks when you're on the other side of the parade.

Also, tomorrow I think we're having a house meeting and going to talk to with Marshall about if he's moving out and how he needs to be less of a pig. And I'll tell him that if I see another pile of his dishes in the sink unwashed, they are going in his bed. I'm not afraid to be bitchy to him, I'm getting really fed up with the dirty dishes and him being loud in the kitchen at 11:00 at night.

But that's about all for now. I hope we all have fun tonight! Yay!

Loves around...

I wish that it was the day after today...

So, I got all the crap that I needed to get done this week all done. I am so thrilled for that. Last night Chris and I had a "Survivor Night" and it was so fun. We went to Wendy's and got Frosty's and dipped french fries in them...mmm. We played Guess Who (I got my ass kicked again) and Mad Gab and now have like 3 more inside jokes. We also watched Ever After which is such a good movie. It was a lot of fun, we should do it more often.

Today I went to my preschool observation and it was really interesting. I liked observing 5-year-olds. I got my report done for that and I got some studying for Gerontology out of the way, so I think I'm done with school work for today. I think tonight is going to be a me night where I situate myself in my room all night and watch movies. Good times. Tomorrow is our massive cleaning day for our party on Saturday. I'm so excited for it. There are some people going who I don't know, so it will be nice to meet new people.

Well, that's about all for now.

Loves around...

This week needs to be over...

So, I saw my Gerontology professor today and he helped me out a bit with my not so great grade. I also had work, which was work, but it's getting more bearable. This Thursday I have to go to my preschool observation at 1, but it's only going to take an hour. Then this Friday we are having a massive cleaning party so our house will look somewhat presentable for our now large party on Saturday! I am so excited for that, I can't wait! My dad and brother are leaving for Texas tonight to give my grandma back her van. Then my parents are coming up here the weekend after this one, and the week after that is Harry Potter!!! I can't wait for that...I'm so excited I'm giddy right now. Then it will be Thanksgiving and I'll get to go home for a few days, so that will be nice. Then it will be Christmas break right after that, so that will be nice to have no work or school for a whole month. Seeing the old gang from high school will be nice. I also can't wait to give Mila her birthday present...I have no doubt in my mind that she will enjoy it very much.

But, that should be all for now, since I have no venting (except for the fact that Marshall needs to wash his damn dishes right away...grr).

Loves around...

UGH!!!!!

God, I am so pissed! Seriously, I think we all need to have a house meeting and just hound Marshall with all the stupid shit he does. He is the most inconsiderate person in this whole house! I'm nicely sleeping in bed at around 11:00 and I am awoken to hear him charging down the stairs and slamming the door to Chris's room. He must have needed to get back to his movie that was so loud my parents in Littleton could probably hear it. I also hate it when he feels the need to eat at 3:00 in the morning, therefore turning on the kitchen light and producing a stream of light that goes directly into my room. Then he proceeds to be as loud as he possibly can be. Now, not all of this happened last night, but while I'm at it, I might as well mention everything. But seriously, everyone else is aware that my room is right next to the kitchen, therefore I can hear everything that goes on. But, I think he must have the notion in his head, that since my door is "closed" I can't hear that much. Especially with the slamming of the microwave and the kitchen cabinets. God, I hate him. I usually don't use the word hate that often, but as of last night, I hate Marshall. I seriously can't wait until this year is over mostly because I know I will never have to live with or see Marshall ever again!

Well, I just wanted to share my displeasure with Marshall. I hope that when he goes home to California for winter break, that he stays there.

Loves around....(grr)

Today was funny...that's all I have to say

So, today was much better. I went to class and then afterwards, Chris and I went to Target and then went to go try and find where I have to go for my preschool observation. We got so lost trying to find that damn place, it's not funny. Well, actually it was funny. We went in all these circles and then we finally found it. It took us an hour and a half to find someplace that was only 12 minutes away from my house. As Chris says, that takes talent.

Tonight I think I'm just going to take a Joanna night and take a shower and then watch a movie or something. After my adventurous day today and my depressing day yesterday, it's probably what I need. Well, going to get food with Emily now...so that's all for now.

Loves around...

It just won't go away...

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake, but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me that I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake, but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake, but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Anxiously waiting...

Yeah, so I am anxiously waiting for this semester to be over! I have so much crap to do in every single one of my classes. I have a project in every class it seems like and it also seems like they're due pretty much around the same time. I also can't wait to be done with work for a month. And I REALLY want to get paid.

I'm also still in my blah stage about not having a boyfriend. It sounds pathetic that I'm like that, but whatever...I really want a boy in my life other than my guy friends (not that I don't love you guys). Mila keeps telling me not to worry, that he'll find me eventually. I just wish he would hurry up already.

Well, now I just made myself all depressed, so I'm going to end it at that. This is me, sick of being alone.

Loves around...

Feeling sad...but kind of not...

Today wasn't a bad day. It could have been a lot worse, but everyday can be a lot worse. I was walking to work today and I all of a sudden felt sad. I really want a boy, but there is a serious boy shortage pretty much everywhere I go. I guess I kind of feel lonely and unloved. Which I know I shouldn't...but whatever, I can't help what I feel. Other than that downer, today was okay. Today was Zach's last day of work, so I won't be seeing him anymore...sad day. It seems like all the student cooks are quitting. Another one quit 2 weeks ago. I hope it doesn't end up just being me at the end of the semester, because that would suck.

Well, other than my lack of boy and work, things are going okay. My mom called me tonight and I told her I started to feel fat, and instead of trying to convince me that I wasn't fat and that I was just imagining things, she was like "Well, stop eating so much and it wouldn't kill you to go to the rec center." Yeah, that's the last time I tell her that I feel fat.

Well, that's all for now...

Loves around...

Yay for lazy Saturdays...

So, today was majorly lazy. I got up at around 10:30 and lied in bed for about a half hour. Then I got up and messed around on the computer for about an hour and then decided to watch Mean Girls and make my frozen DiGiorno pizza...(no, it was not delivery). After that, I went back on the computer and then Chris, Garrick, and I went to go pay rent, only to find that the door was locked, so we can't really do that until Monday...yay for being late. Then we went to Target and I bought Big Daddy and watched that while I ate pasta (which I have probably eaten everyday this week...but that's okay).

And that is basically all I did all day. Now I'm sitting here typing away dreading my day at work tomorrow. Blah. I think I would enjoy more when I get paid for the first time, because right now I am still getting no income. But hopefully soon.

Well, I thought I would fill you on my extremely lazy and adventurous day.

Loves around...

Yay Weekend...

It's finally Friday! I plan on doing absolutely nothing today. After I finish my laundry, I'm going to organize my closet and then after that I have no idea. I really need to vacuum in my room, but I think that will wait until tomorrow.

Yeah, so today I woke up at 7 seriously contemplately whether or not I should go to that class or not, but I ended up going because it really sucks missing sign language. Then I get there, and we're all sitting waiting for my teacher to come...and then around 8, some woman comes in and tells us that class is cancelled. So I could have stayed in bed an extra 2 hours if I wanted to and it wouldn't have mattered. Oh well.

But, that is all for now.

Loves around...

Woo hoo...(I really wish there was a sarcasm font)

Okay, so today is another bad day. Last night I had yet ANOTHER Vertigo thing, so I had to take my medication and I was in bed by 9:45. I was awoken, by Marshall I'm assuming, at 1:00 in the morning with him walking about the kitchen and opening every cabinet and drawer he could find and slamming them closed. I woke up again to my alarm which was playing this awesomely annoying song, and I could not get to it fast enough to turn it off. I proceed to walk in the bathroom, and I walk right into the wall instead of the doorway, as I am still a little bit dizzy. Then by some miracle I made it to class, and of course we had a "sub" in my second class which just really pissed me off.

Then I came home and had lunch and chatted with the roomies a bit. Then I went into my room, checked my e-mail and crawled into bed...and I just woke up now, to of course, Marshall in the kitchen. I guess I can't really blame him for this one because it is 2:30 in the afternoon, but still...if the door is closed, I'm usually asleep.

On the bright side though, I do feel much better, and yet still contemplating whether or not I should call my parents and tell them what I haven't been telling them.

But, I'm done for that for right now...

Loves around...

So done...so, so done...

I guess today could have been a lot worse. I got two of my tests back today, and while I didn't fail either of them, I still didn't do so hot either. I also really don't want to go to my Intro to Human Communications class tomorrow because my teacher isn't even going to be there, but of course, we all still have to show up. And he'll know if I don't show up because he's making our "substitute" give an in-class activity that counts towards participation points. I'm so tempted to just say fuck it, but I don't want to risk screwing myself over.

While I was walking back from class today I realized that today is October 12th. Yeah, that date has no meaning to me, but 3 days later rent is due. So, I have to do that this weekend, and I also need to go the grocery store because I need food again and other stuff.

Today has been a frustrating day. I woke up pissed off again, and that feeling has still not entirely worn off. I think all I'm going to do tonight is put on comfortable clothes and watch a movie because all of my homework for this week is done. I probably should start studying for upcoming tests so I don't fuck myself again, but I don't think I want to do that. Today is going to be a day of nothing.

Loves around...

All I have to say is...psh!

Yeah, so today was going good until I had to go take my test at 1:00 today. I got there maybe 5 minutes before 1 and she gave me the test and I took it in about 10 minutes. I got done at around 1:10. The test wasn't extrememly long and I knew most of the answers on there, and the ones I didn't know I wasn't going to spend my time racking my brain to find the answer that I knew wasn't there, so I just took an educated stab at it. I went back to her office to give her the test and she was like "Oh, wow, that was quick. How do you think you did?" And I answered that I wasn't sure, that there were some questions on there that I wasn't too sure about, but what can I do. And she pauses and looks at me for a bit and was like "are you sure you don't want to spend more time on it?" in this condescending kind of tone that really pissed me off. Yeah, like an extra 10 minutes more is going to magically give me the right answer on those questions. I hate teachers like that. If I don't know it, I don't know it and that's that.

Now, I have this feeling that she's grading it and judging me with every wrong answer that she thinks I could have spent more time on. Maybe I do go through tests faster than most, but that's only because if I know the answer, I know I know it right away. If I don't know it, I don't spend time thinking about it, because I know I don't know it.

I'm just afraid now that tomorrow I'm going to get my test back and there's going to a failing grade on it and a stern look from her. The only thing I should have spent more time on is studying. But oh well, that's my mistake and next time I know I will make myself study more. But of course, I can't hate her too much because she did let me take it later.

Well, I'm done venting about that for now. I have work in an hour and a half. God, how I hate it there.

Loves around...

Cold, wet, and sleepy...

I have to be at work in a half hour and I REALLY don't want to go. All I really want to do is put warm clothes on and crawl into bed for a week. I also should study more for my test that I was supposed to take today, but my teacher couldn't find a copy. I really would have liked to get it over with. Oh well, at least she's letting me make it up.

I almost slept through my phonetics class today. Well, not so much almost slept through as I was contemplately whether I should go or stay in bed and sleep. I ended up going, which I learned that I really didn't have to.

Well, I should probably go get ready for work (blah).

Loves around...

Raining and pouring...snowing possibly??

Well, today wasn't too bad of a day. I had to wake up at 6 to get here for work, but thankfully, that will be the last time I have to do that for awhile. Unless something drastic at home happens, my next trip to Littleton will be for Thanksgiving break. Of course, I say that now...but who really knows.

Work wasn't too bad today. It went by really fast, which was good. Sucky part was that I had to walk home in the cold and rain. And my Normal Speech and Language Development teacher is nice enough to let me take the test tomorrow when I was supposed to take it last Friday...which I should probably be studying for now considering I have an extra few days to study. But it's raining out, and all I really want to do is nothing. It's supposed to snow tomorrow and of course, I don't have my winter coat up here. Hopefully it won't be too cold out.

Well, all I have to say is that I am so ready for Winter Break. A month with no work or school will be quite nice. And hopefully I'll get to see the crowd from high school. Something for New Years is probably going to go down.

Well, that's pretty much all that's going on now....

Loves around...

And if you were with me tonight....

There's no one in town I know
You gave us someplace to go
I never said thank you for that
I thought I might have one more chance
What would you think of me now...
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads
The sleepless go
May angels lead you in

So what would you think of me now...
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads
The sleepless go
May angels lead you in

And if you were with me tonight
I'd sing to you just one more time
A song for a heart so big
God couldn't let it live

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads
The sleepless go
May angels lead you in

:-(

So, I'm going home tonight because I learned that my Grandma is actually leaving tomorrow...which really upset me for some reason. But, if I went to class tomorrow, I wouldn't make it home in time to say goodbye to her. I think I'm PMSing too because I started crying when my dad told me and I started to cry when I told Kara that I was leaving tonight.

I'll be back on Sunday morning for work (blah). I'm almost tempted to call in and just get back Sunday night, but I don't think I will. I would have to call someone to cover for me and I'm not sure how many of my fellow student cooks would be willing to cover my 8 1/2 hour shift. But that's it for now.

See you all on Sunday evening.

Loves around...

I hate Mondays...

Mondays suck. I have the most classes and work today...I also have a stupid phonetics test that I did not study for. I guess there is a good reason I have 2 hours between classes today. I also slept like a freaking rock last night, but only to be interrupted by my damn alarm clock. If that thing hadn't gone off, I'd probably still be asleep. Sundays exhaust me and it doesn't help that I don't go to bed when I should. I also REALLY don't want to be in Greeley right now. I hate only being able to see my Grandma on weekends. I wish I could just skip the month of classes that she's here and just stay home.

I'm also REALLY frustrated with people, places and things. Basically, I'm frustrated with all nouns. It seems like I can't catch a break, and when I do, it isn't long enough. I hate work...it sucks balls. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to work a damn 8 1/2 hour shift on Sunday. Being on my feet ALL day in a kitchen that I can liken to a sauna.

Well, that's my ranting. I need to go to my stupid, boring Normal Speech and Language Development class. I hope that teacher gets hit in the face.

Loves around...