Wake me up when September ends...

Okay, so not feeling much better than the last time I posted. I think there is just way too much going on with roommates that is really getting to me. Emily and I chatted for like 2 hours last night about how we feel about everything and I didn't really realize how much she and I were in the same boat. She says she feels closer to me than anyone in the house because when everyone else is upstairs having a good time and not realizing that we're both downstairs in our rooms by ourselves...we're all we have to talk to.

And I know I could go upstairs and join them...but I always feel so awkward and unwelcome there even though no one is doing anything to make me feel that way. I talked to Chris before he had to book it to class and I told him how I was feeling about it and that sometimes I do feel left out even though sometimes I know I shouldn't.

I know that him, Kara, Garrick and Ian have this kind of special bond that I have to admit I am kind of jealous of. And I know I can blame myself for some of that because last year I didn't really make that much of an effort to see Chris very much and that isn't his fault. It isn't like he didn't invite me to eat with them a ton last year...I just never went. But apart of the reason I didn't go was because I felt awkward around some of them and now I do regret not hanging out with them as much as I could. I know I wouldn't be apart of their "Coed group", but I might have been at least a little bit closer to all of them.

Okay...well, those are my feelings and they're out there now. I'm done venting now.

Loves around...